外國上班族是什么樣的?同為打工人，不論是國內還是國外，各有各的酸楚。
01.
“你心甘情愿從了劫匪！”
I work for a family-owned check cashing company. Yesterday, I was robbed at gunpoint by three bandits. Today, the owners want to deduct the stolen cash from my paycheck. They say I willingly complied with the bandits' wishes.
我在一所家族自營的支票兌現公司上班。昨天，我遭到3個強盜持槍搶劫。今天，老板們要從我工資里扣掉被搶的錢 。他們說我是心甘情愿從了劫匪。
at gunpoint: 被槍指著
paycheck: 工資，薪水
bandit: 強盜，劫匪
comply with：照做，遵守
02.
“所以你想說什么？”
I was refused a raise by my VP. He said, "You're already making more money than I was at your age." I was 24. He was 46. It turns out that he spent his 20's touring around the state playing guitar in a garage band, barely making enough to pay for food and gasoline. When I pointed out that rather than playing guitar, I had spent my youth getting a college degree and working in a high-tech job, he replied, "What's your point?"
有一次，副總裁拒絕了我的加薪要求。他說：”我在你這個年紀時，賺得還沒你現在多。“說這話時他46歲，我24歲。結果我發現，他二十多歲時在樂隊當吉他手，全國巡演，收入剛過溫飽線。當我指出與其把青春耗費在玩吉他上，我更愿意拿下大學文憑，從事高科技工作，他反問我：”所以你想說什么?“
it turns out: 結果發現
garage band: 車庫樂隊(車庫：搖滾音樂的一種流派)
What's your point?：你想表達什么?(你想說什么?)
03.
職業道德教育翻車
My company recently showed a video during one of our monthly review meetings. The video talked about the importance of working together in a morally and ethically pure state. It expounded such virtues as optimism, hard work and honesty. It claimed that an honest management would cultivate honest employees. The movie was very uplifting and motivating. Just before the lights came on, the last message ran across the screen. It read "FOR DEMO PURPOSES ONLY -- ILLEGAL TO USE FOR TRAINING".
最近，我的公司在每月例會上放了段視頻。這個視頻講了秉承純粹職場道德的重要性，闡述了樂觀、努力和誠實等品質，視頻宣稱，誠實正直的管理方式能夠培養誠實正直的員工，總之就是很正能量很雞血。就在燈亮起前，屏幕上滾動過一條字幕：”本片只能用于演示，用于培訓是違法的。“
expound: 闡述，說明
uplifting/motivating: 振奮人心的
claim: 宣稱
cultivate: 培養，陶冶
04.
“女的多矛盾多”
I once got into a disagreement with another female coworker, and when my boss called us both in, he said, "I actually just listened to a podcast about how conflict is a common thing when you have multiple female employees working in the same office, so I’m prepared to handle this."
有一次我和一位女同事意見不合，老板把我倆叫過去，說：”我剛剛還聽了個播客，就是在講辦公室里女的多，矛盾就多，得虧我有備而來。“
05.
進了急救室，老板卻要你...
“I emailed my boss, notifying them I was in the emergency room and wouldn’t be able to come into work for what I thought was an obvious reason. My boss replied, asking me what was on my to-do list for the day and if I could send them the projects I was working on. I begrudgingly complied. They followed up, asking for more information with additional questions—all while I was in the ER.”
我給我的老板發郵件，告知他們我被送進了急救室，顯然，不能去上班了。老板回了，問我當天有什么待辦事項，能不能把我手頭上的項目發他們。我不情愿地照做了。他們持續跟進，又問了一堆別的問題——而當時我已經進了急救室。
notify: 通知，告知
to-do list: 待辦事項清單
begrudgingly: 不情愿地，吝嗇地
follow up: 跟進
06.
”教你們什么叫強硬手腕！“
Our purchasing group was negotiating with a major paint supplier. Because of our volume of orders, we were in a strong position to negotiate. Finally, after two days of heated wrangling, we got the manufacturer to agree to a 35% discount.
當時，我們采購組在跟一個很大的涂料供應商談判，因為訂單量很大，我們掌握談判的主動權。最終，經歷了兩天的拉鋸，我們說服制造商接受65折的價格。
negotiate: 談判
volume: 量，體積
wrangling: 爭吵，爭辯
supplier/manufacturer: 供應商/制造商
As we were about to sign the contract, the President, who had not been a party to the negotiations, walked in and tore it up. He said "I'm going to teach you purchasing people how to play hardball. That's the way you make it in this world." At that, he turned to the manufacturer's representatives and said "We'll give you 10% under your quoted price, take it or leave it. There are other suppliers out there." The supplier quickly leaped at the change. Turning to us as he left, the President said "I hope you learned something from that."
眼看就要簽合同了，之前根本沒參與談判的總裁走了進來，當場撕毀了之前達成的協議。他說：”我來教你們這些負責采購的家伙，什么叫強硬手腕，這才是行走江湖的成功之道。“然后，他轉身對供應商代表說：”我們只會付你們9成報價，不接受就走人。“供應商立馬就接受了。總裁離場前，還轉身對我們說：”希望剛才的事，給你們上了一課。“
party of a negotiation: 一場談判中的參與者/利益相關者
tear(tore) up: 撕碎，撕毀
play hardball: 采取強硬手段
take or leave it: 要么接受，要么走人(談判中表達不關心對方的反應，沒有商量的余地)
07.
“我想只付一半”
Our company was running into financial difficulties and my Boss asked me to work for half of my salary. I said, "Well, I can work half the time for half the pay." He said "Oh no. What I mean is... you usually work 80 hours a week with 40 hours of unpaid overtime... now I want to pay for just half of the first 40."
公司財務困難，老板要求我只拿半薪。我說：”嗯，可以薪水降一半，工時也減一半。“他說：”不不不，我的意思是......你平時每周工作80個小時，其中有40個小時是無償加班......現在我想只付前40小時的一半的薪水。“
run into difficulties: 遇到困難
unpaid: 無報酬的、無償的
overtime: 加班時間
08.
“你最想變成什么動物？”
At an interview for a tech startup, they asked me "If you could be any animal, what would you be?"
I answered "Otter" because you know, fun, active, and so cute!
They really debated whether or not to hire me because of that answer because, and I quote, "We only hire predators, never prey." and they weren't sure how to quantify an Otter, because none of them had ever paid the least bit of attention to any sort of animal documentary or read biology or you know, visited a zoo recently.
去一家初創科技公司面試，他們問我：”如果你能變成任何動物，你會變成什么?“我回答”水獺“，因為水獺有趣、活潑、超可愛!就因為這個答案，他們權衡了很久要不要雇我，理由是他們“只雇用捕食者，不雇獵物“，但他們也拿不準水獺算獵物還是捕食者。因為最近他們沒看過動物的紀錄片、也沒讀過生物類的書，最近也沒去過動物園。
start up: 創業公司
predator: 捕食者
prey: 獵物
documentary: 紀錄片
09.
掛羊頭賣狗肉的招聘
I went in to apply for an administrative assistant position and the guy kept asking me questions about liking kids and are my passports up to date...etc. I was SO confused. Turns out what he really wanted was a nanny for his two young kids to travel with him and his wife back to India. I was so pissed he wasted my time.
當時我在申請一份行政助理的工作，那人一直問我喜不喜歡小孩、護照有沒有過期等問題。我很困惑。最后發現他的真實目的是想給他的兩個小孩招個保姆，陪他們全家一起回印度。純屬浪費時間，氣死了。
administrative assistant: 行政助理
pissed: 惱火的，非常生氣的
以上內容來自開言英語電臺節目《潘吉Jenny》告訴你。
